Friday, April 9, 2010

Communication: Quality or Quantity?

Human beings have always been social creatures. Friendships and relationship building has always been very important to us and life is always lonesome for those with little or no friends.
As the world evolves so have friendship as we know it. We live in an era where everything is a click or touch away. Our social ventures are played on the tube daily and for most of us our very “best” friends live just a click away. Welcome to Web 2.0, which has open many avenues or medium; emails, instant messaging, social networking etc. which fosters “friendships”.http://www.thefriendshipblog.com/blog/evolution-friendship-digital-age

But friendship as we know it is not the same. Social etiquettes for face-to-face relationships do not necessary apply to digital or online friendships. Making and maintaining friends has always taken some efforts on both sides. Unlike the digital world where friendships can be established in shorter periods of time, real world friends take a long period of time to cultivate and maintain. In the virtual world commitment to the relationship is not warranted -with the same “click” you used to get those friends you can click them off your list- un-friend them and they can also click you off their list. http://www.allanbesselink.com/rhubarb/407-friendship-new-meaning-in-the-digital-age

However, friendship in the digital world is not all that negative. Web 2.0 has expanded the scope of friendship for many people. Lots of these friends may not be close, but they are certainly rich sources of valuable information. There are many people who have made meaningful personal relationships online. People are connecting with others who have the same interests. For those who need a constant entourage of friends, social media is the perfect vehicle in obtaining that. To some, being able to get in touch on a daily basis without the added headache of planning events, getting all geared up or just the fear of being vulnerable to others, online friends are the best.

Personally, I am not too fond of online friendship. Being of the old school. I enjoy seeing and talking to my friends face-to face. My online connections are only to those “buddies” that I can’t see on day to day bases. I must admit though, I am a bit wary of online friendships. How can you tell if the person on the other side of the tube is who he/she says they are? Like Mark Vernon alluded on his blog – it is an issue of trust.http://www.markvernon.com/friendshiponline/dotclear/index.php?post/2007/09/27/725-tonight-friendship-in-the-digital-age-ica

Communication :The Most Effective Way To Communicate Online

When building a friendship online it is important to communicate often so that this can lead to a meaningful relationship. When there is open communication this can lead to trusting and sharing so that the relationship can be enjoyed by both parties. There are several ways of communicating online such as emailing, instant messaging, tweeting, blogging, and chatting. But which method could be most beneficial in advancing the relationship so that it would be a close one and also resemble that of a face to face friendship? One method that could effectively achieve this is known as “cam chatting” http://www.articleclick.com/Article/Free-Live-Cam-Chat-Room-An-Easy-Path-Towards-A-Strong-Relationship/1074690. Cam chatting has greatly improved the world of online friendship because you can actually see the person that you are communicating with face to face. And because you can see the person you put a face to this person that you are chatting with and also it is an excellent ice breaker. The technology has led to many people not feeling like they are in the dark while chatting with this person. Furthermore there are no surprises when you finally meet face to face http://internet.myfreearticlecentral.com/Article_22432_Internet-Landscape-Is-Incomplete-Without-Free-Video-Chat.aspx. I believe this is so much better than just communicating via email or instant messaging not really seeing whom you might be communicating with. For instance, some people have communicated with people who were not really who they said they were and so with this type of chatting this can be avoided and then hopefully the relationship can be developed based on what you can see and hear. If this is developed further this could really change the concept of online friendship.
By Collette

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Communication: Levels of Friendships

There are many levels of friendships. The relationship we have with someone in the early stages of a friendship is not the same as what we experience as the friendship grows and matures. There are acquaintances who you see regularly, buddies who you play with. There are friends whom we term as consultants and they are there to offer advice and also dearest friends who will go through it all with you.




All levels of friendship require a commitment and effective communication. Best friends are seen as treasures and comforters when there is a good communication. The deepest stage of friendship is the most rewarding and also the most demanding http://lifeofj.wordpress.com/2007/12/02/the-4-levels-of-friendship/

According to Reem Abeidoh's reflection on Social Impressions, http://www.reemabeidoh.com/social-media/the-5-levels-of-social-media-relationships/ there are five levels of friendships. Jedi, who serves as a mentor and can provide you information on things you can never learn. iBestfriend, this is a relationship where you feel comfortable with sharing information with that individual. Buddy is when you lay the foundation for a strong relationship. E-quaintance is where you know very little about each personal lives and lastly, link lover, these are friends you don't intend to keep them around, it is solely in your IM to link stories to. There are people who are nervous and conscious when meeting people for the first time. They believe that first impressions are important http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N33q303jSy0&feature=related.

Now if I may know can the virtual world and the real world have the same levels of friends?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Issues of Trust: Cyber Affairs

Social Media have foster many kinds and levels of friendships, ranging from acquaintances to best friends. Some of these friendships have evolved into meaningful relationships. However, there is growing danger of cyber affairs that are threatening many real life relationships. When marriages and relationship end on the rocks because one partner had cheated on the other, we tend to vent our anger on the home wrecker (the other woman/man). How can we rain all our rage on an invisible person?

In the real sense, having an affair involves having a physical and emotional contact with another other than your partner. There is a brewing debate whether secret online romance can be considered as cheating. Depending on whom you ask, the answers differ. For most women, cyber affairs are equally devastating as real ones. “Emailing and messaging a member of the opposite sex other than your partner, can be very destructive; a betrayal of trust, a deceit and abuse of the sanctity of a relationship”. http://newsitemstoday.today.com/2009/05/18/online-cheating-cyber-cheating/ . Most men however believe that online affairs are simply harmless because there is no physical contact involve. But cheating is and will always be cheating- online or off. Cyber affairs are a betrayal of trust, a vital component in every relationship. Without it no friendship or relationship can survive. It must be earned and must be kept sacred.

Chatting online is all about communication. And as we all know, communication has always initiate friendship and the more you communicate with someone, the closer the bond. http://searchwarp.com/swa531880-Cyber-Cheating-Is-It-Really-Cheating.htm . Moreover, these online flirting are conducted in secret. There are stories of many breakups because of these online clandestine affairs. Yes, social media has generated all kinds of friendships and those who choose to cheat online deceive themselves by thinking that these are just fantasies. An emotional involvement is a strong web that is difficult to click away or untangle. To do anything behind your partner’s back is detrimental to the trust that binds you.

Issues of Trust : Online Dating

The issues of trust in online relationships are very common especially when it comes to dating online or even just a causal friendship. For example when it comes to online dating people tend to put their best feet forward so as to be able to attract a partner and sometimes that is not who they really are http://www.helium.com/items/729587-can-you-trust-the-honesty-of-online-dating-site-participants. Also some people even go to the lengths of putting a different picture and describe their physically appearance like a character that you would read about in a romance novel. A personal friend of mine had a nasty experience where she met someone online and they were chatting for a while maybe for some weeks and they decide to meet. She told me that she was so disappointed when she met the guy because the picture that she had seen was not the person she was looking at. She said she told him that you look so different from the picture that is on the web. She said his reply was that she looked the same as the online picture she had posted. And she said to him is that not what one does when they are looking to meet people? Then after that encounter she found him again on another dating website with the same name but another picture that was not his face. So this is just an example of what people might face when it comes to online dating. So there should be ways of verifying who people say that they are before investing more into the relationship check out this website for useful tips http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/features/onlinedatingsafetytips.html. By Collette

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Issues of Trust: Can You Ever Really Know Someone Online?

There are many benefits to social networking, but just as many troubles. One of the major issues with online friendship is trust. How can we have complete confidence in someone we have never met? How do we know that our “friends” are really who they say they are?
Honesty becomes an issue when we recreate our personas to make ourselves seem more desirable. I am sure that we could all come up with a time when we have been guilty of this. It may be as innocent as losing five pounds when we log on, or as deceitful as pretending to be someone else entirely. Either way, the lies affect our self worth or others.
In a music video, country singer Brad Paisley jests about online personalities and how easy it is to represent an untrue version of ourselves. You can view So Much Cooler Online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE6iAjEv9dQ
Not all stories are as light-hearted as Paisley’s video. The tragic suicide of Megan Meier at age fourteen, was due to cyber bullying and fraudulent representation. Megan believed she had met the boy of her dreams, Josh, on MySpace and had been exchanging online messages with him for weeks. The messages from Josh soon turned malicious and urged Megan to kill herself. It was later discovered that Josh was created by Lori Drews, the mother of a girl that Megan went to school with. More details on this heartbreaking story can be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Megan_Meier
So, how do you know whether or not an online friend is being truthful about who they are? You can never really be 100% sure. Therefore, it is always best to be cautious when participating in online relationships. StaySafeOnline.org posts some great advice regarding safe social networking.
Are you who you claim to be online?
If you have any comments or stories you would like to share, please feel free to do so!

By: Melanie

Issues of Trust: How Do We Decide On a Friend?

A good therapeutic relationship is a kind of friendship where there are boundaries that do not exist in ordinary friendships but, like friendships, trust, loyalty, acceptance and affection are important. This is why a friend can be our best therapist.


Trust is one of the fundamental elements of a good friendships. In the real world, before deciding who a real friend is, there must be a face to face interaction. People take into consideration physical contact through effective communication, by hanging out together, going to lunch and dinner and socialising together. Our friends are essential to our enjoyment of life. They support and validate our sense of self http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/mar/08/choosing-friends-friendship-breakdown.


Due to advancement of technology, friends are made easier than you can think of. We meet friends on facebook, twitter and friendship starts right away with text messaging and online chatting. I believe this link explains how to choose friends on real or virtual world http://www.helium.com/items/85594-ten-qualities-every-friend-should-have On the other hand, we should be careful when choosing friends online. I know of a 14yr old girl who met someone online and thought she had found a friend, not knowing that person was a 40 year old man. There are consequences to some of these friendships. So if I may know, what do you look for in a friend?

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Evolution Of Friendship - From Penpal to "Tweet" Pal

Communication, an important element in friendship have been totally revolutionalized by this age of technological innovations. Gone are the days of the Ink and Quill - Welcome to Instant Messaging and Tweeting.
I remember it started from sending telegram, then to mailing of letters and delivery by post men, then to telephone calls and later through emails. Now most people deal with the social networking site and true friends communicate through instant messaging. In the virtual world friends communicate through facebook, tweeter and many networking sites. The link below explains how friendship has evolved . http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/internet-friendship-turning-distant-friendship-in-to-reality-174317.html Internet friendship has bridged the gap to a great extent. The basic fundamentals of communication are exchanging informations opinions and ideas and these can be utilized through the use of internet.
//http://nms.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/6/4/487
Some basic elements of communication are facial expression, tone of the language, eye contact and position of your body. Now due to technology, communication can take place within seconds without noticing all these elements. Now the question I ask myself and want to know is this social interaction through the internet reliable?, Has it really transformed the community in a positive or negative way?

The Evolution of Friendship - The Definition of "Friend"


As Melanie stated in the blog, friendship is a relationship that is an important aspect of our lives. I am further going to expand on this aspect and to begin with what a "friend" truly means to me and maybe to some others.

A "friend" to me is someone that I am comfortable with and that I can share my thoughts. Furthermore a "friend" is someone who can rely on me for the same things as mentioned above. Also a "friend" is someone who will not betray the trust that I have in her and in the context of this that I can share some of my secrets, struggles, likes, and dislikes. In addition, a "friend" is someone who has her own unique qualities and still have some things in common and treasure our uniqueness at the same time. Now that I have defined what a "friend" means to me, I would like to examine what other literary sources define "friend" as. Thefreedictionary.com defines "friend" as a person who is liked and trusted, who is an associate, who supports, and a comrade in times of struggle. It was interesting to find that in Word history a friend literally means "lover" and in the English word "friend" is actually an action word which is "to love" see this website for the full text http://www.thefreedictionary.com/friend. Also dictionary.com gives an added definition stating that there should be attraction between the individuals and they should be in good terms with each other http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/friend.
In examining the definitions of "friend" and how I actually relate with my friends in real life, I totally agree with these definitions. Do you? "Friendship" is a subjective relationship and in the way that we interact with one another.So when I study relationships online I beg to differ that love and affection can be established with someone that you have not built a relationship with "face to face". My case in point is reflected in this article that states that social networks where established primarily to connect people but consumers have stated that they were not necessarily looking for strangers http://jcmc.indiana.edu/vol13/issue1/boyd.ellison.html. My memorable friendships have been based on face to face encounters. So if I may ask what is a friend to you? And can you recall a memorable friendship and how that relationship was formed?

By Collette